DEAR CAROLYN : I recently fell in love with a wonderful woman who I hope will be part of my life for a very long time. My problem : My friends and colleagues are highly educated people who greatly value intelligence and professionalism. My girlfriend, however, habitually uses double negatives when she speaks, and comes across as being ignorant and of low intelligence. In truth, she can run circles around most people with her mathematical skills, but that doesn't come out in conversation. I "can't think of no way" to either help her appear as intelligent as she is, or just get over my embarrassment when we're with my friends and colleagues. Is there a way to gently coach her about how others perceive her ? Or is it shallow of me to be bothered by it in the first place ?
But if you're not sure, you can either wait till you are (recommended ), or broach it before you explode (understood ). Maybe : "Are you grateful or insulted when people correct your grammar, assuming they'll love you regardless ?" Assuming you'll love her regardless.
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